I don’t believe in miracles. I believe in luck. Chance, the randomness of the world, odds, whatever you want to call it. To me, miracles are just being on the good side of the odds, a million (or so) to one chance. Someone has to be that one. Nice for them. But in my view, if miracles existed in the divine sense of the word, then miracles would only happen to worthy, deserving folk. But they don’t. They’re pretty much random. Right place, right time.
The same with bad luck. If everything was planned, surely only evil axe murderers would be on the other end of the odds. But that’s not the way the world works. So when I have bad luck, I try not to take it personally.
I heard of one guy who apparently once won the big prize in a lottery. He said how unlucky he was because he had to share the prize with another ticket holder who had the same numbers. He’d just won more money than he had ever expected, and said “I’m unlucky.”
Some say I’m unlucky because we can’t have children. It’s not what we planned, and that puts us on the outer edge of our society, but I know two things. I know that it isn’t a punishment. And I know that my life is pretty wonderful without children. Different, not worse. I can sleep in on Sunday mornings, and go out at night on impulse without worrying about babysitters. I could drive a racy two-seater red convertible (if our climate and my finances permitted.) I don’t have to childproof my house, I can take holidays to adults-only resorts during the school term, and I can get drunk at night and forget to feed the cats and it doesn’t matter.I’m lucky in other ways too of course:
- I was born in the late 20th century.
- I was born and grew up in New Zealand.
- I have the intellectual capability to know I can always support myself - health willing - and live in an era and a country where women can do so.
- I have always enjoyed relatively good health
- I’ve always been pretty good at whatever I’ve tried, physically and intellectually. (Though I can’t write poetry or curl my tongue, and whatever I try it mustn’t involve heights.)
- I have a husband who seems to love me and has stuck by me through difficult times, who is warm and generous and makes me laugh.
- The cats did me the courtesy of waiting 15 years 1 month before they started puking and peeing and pooping on the carpet (last week)
- I have had had both opportunities and funds to be able to travel the world, experiencing things beyond my dreams.
- I have good friends and family.
- There are people who seem to want to read my blogs and comment on them.
Luck. I have more than my fair share.